Ruby

I weighed in yesterday, my usual day and was the same weight as Friday. A part of me was hoping that I would lose another 0.6 lbs just so I could get below 236 but that didn't happen. Unrealistic to expect that in one day but I was still hoping and still had a bit of disappointment. As long as the numbers keep going down from weigh in date to weigh in date, I'll be happy.

So tonight, I'm flipping through the stations and see Ruby is on. Don't know if you have ever watched the show. It's about a woman who weighed over 700 lbs and has lost over 300lbs. She is speaking with friends more about what she was like with food and how her addiction with food affected her life. I may not be as overweight as Ruby but I definitely shared some of the same thoughts and feelings. Unlike Ruby, I knew what I did wasn't normal but that didn't stop me from continueing to eat. It also made me look at what I am doing now.

My Mother has been living with me since the beginning of the year. I've lived by myself for about 15 years so it's been tough at times having someone else living here. I find when something happens and I get upset I go to food (I've mentioned this before and realize it's something I need to work on). I'm finding an old habit that I had forgotten about is lurking its ugly head again... closet eating. I used to hide my junk food habits a long time ago when I lived with other people. I find I'm starting it again and it worries me. Glad that I'm noticing it early but still worried that I need to get control of it now before I sabotage my weight loss efforts. It's one thing to want junk food or to have a second helping, but it's bad when I'm standing in the corner of the kitchen where my mother can't see me and I'm shoving food in my mouth.

My goal this week is NO CLOSET eating.